Monday, December 31, 2012

Rape !

I shiver from inside when I think of the torture she endured before she died. And then people blame the Govt, the system, the law. They ask for punishment. People post their anger, their disappointment on facebook. And every time I see such a post, I wish to tell them to start at home. I wish to tell all the men, treat you wife as your equal. Don't take decisions for her. Help her decide for herself and respect the decision she takes for herself. I wish to tell the women to learn to respect themselves and instead of pampering their sons, teach them that their sisters are equally important. I wish to tell every parent, that stop giving dowry, and stop accepting it. Send your daughters to a place where they will be judged by the qualities she has, and not by the amount of money she is bringing.

You know what, the thing that bothers me the most is dowry. Because that is where the evil starts. You are sending your daughter to a home where she is supposed to be a family, where she is supposed to be loved. Why does she have to take money with her? I don't get the concept. How does money decide the amount of love she is going to get. And the funniest part is, women take part in it. The mother-in-law will give costlier gifts to the daughter-in-law who bought in more dowry.

And then comes the children. Girls are taught to endure, to adjust, to accept, ever since they are a kid. The brother is given the larger piece of cake. The girl is taught to wait till the men in the family have eaten properly. Whatever is left out, the girl manages with that. And the father is not even bothered. It somehow becomes the responsibility of the mother to decide. And the mother teaches the daughter to let go. Dont get me wrong. I am not asking the mother/ father to teach you daughter to revolt. I am asking to teach both your children to let go sometimes. I am asking you to teach your son and daughter to sacrifice for each other. I am asking you to teach both your sons and daughters to learn to give the other an equal share of what you have. And instead of making yourself proud that your son is manly, be proud that you have made him human. Be proud that you have taught him to respect his sister. Be proud that you have taught him not be a part of the male chauvinist world.

I have seen people commenting it was the fault of the girl and her parents alone. Why was she allowed to go out at night. Why do women wear provocative clothes? I have a question for all of these people. Whatever the situation be, why were those guys not taught to be "Not Animals"? Why did no body refrain them from doing something that was wrong?
For arguments sake, it was the girl who was out at night, or maybe it was the girl who was wearing provocative clothes. But did she spoil your life? Did she kill someone with her actions? No, she did not. What kind of clothes are to be worn by a woman is not your problem, not your business. You are free to wear anything you want. And so was she. But your actions killed a person. You hurt her. You raped her. Your actions harmed someone else. You don't have the right to harm someone else. Please go ahead and harm yourself. Nobody would come to inquire !

I sometimes feel so angry. No, not with the system. Not with the Govt. But with you my friend. Because, you dont do anything except light candles and shout using posts on facebook. Make a difference to the life of the woman you have in your life. Learn to treat her as a person and not as an object of your pleasure. World will automatically be a good place to live in !


Surabhi said...

Very well written Mou. I agree - just like charity begins at home..respecting woman begins at home. We as women need to do some soul searching too. Why do we put up with men who do not treat us equally? Just a few days ago in my city here in the USA a female police officer was shot and killed by her husband. She did not stop the violence from her husband towards her. I am not so hopeful about the male community but we as women need to stand up for ourselves and I guess its high time for that :)

Mou said...

Thanks Bhabhi :)
Totally agree with you. Even I am not hopeful about the male community. Surprisingly, such posts never attract comments or likes from men ! ;)
In fact I might be able to understand the mentality of women not standing upto their husbands.. maybe because thats how they have been brought up... But the thing that bothers me is, when women understand the things about men that they dislike, they again teach those same things to their sons. They dont teach their sons not to be like their husbands ! Thats sad !

Mukul said...

Well said Mou. But I din't like your comment Even I am not hopeful about the male community" . All the men are not criminal dear mother.

This concept is misused by some girls now a days.

Mou said...

@Mukul Sir,

You got me wrong. Or maybe I didnt explain it very well. When I say, I am not hopeful about the male community, I dont mean all men are criminals. What I mean is subconsciously superiority is a state which no one wants to let go. Little things make the difference. Example, how many husbands come home and help their working wife cook? Indian men (and women too) find it okay when the husband scolds the wife, but how many wife scold their husbands? When I say "not hopeful", I mean these little things. I am a wife and there are similar inequalities that hurt me. And since my parents worked with NGOs, I have seen a class of society where domestic violence is so common that no one bothers. The mother give those same values that her husband has to her son. And everything seems okay. When I say, I am not hopeful, this is what I mean.