For the last two months I have been missing blogging desperately. I had to be in office and there was just a single system with internet and I did not have an internet connection at home. Deoghar (my hometown) is bad when it comes to internet cafes. So, in short, I was dying to blog and ended up thinking of topics that I wanted to write. Rite now I am sitting here in my ex-hostel room (one of my juniors and also a wonderful friend lives in it now) and writing this post. And i am lost where to start, what to write.
I have always found it hard to express myself the exact way I want to. And that is why I am comfortable with poems. Its easier to express yourself there. You dont need to be precise, or specific. You just pour out words in the way you want to, and yet leave the feeling behind them to the reader. That is why i am absolutely in love with poems. You can relate every poem with yourself.
Yet, you know what, I feel really odd putting up poems for people to read. I think a lot before I let people read it. It makes me feel, what if people get to know what I really felt. Feelings are so personal. Feelings are something that you can never share, its just the incident that you share. Feelings can never have words. Because every word holds a different feel for every person. And its hard to communicate it. And this is one the biggest reasons why I keep deleting profiles and blogs. When I really feel out of the world, lonely, misunderstood I hate to think that somebody would be reading things that I penned down once. I know its odd... real odd. But it scares me.
And so... Poof !!! blogs deleted !!!
And when I come back to my normal self, the normal happy me.... I miss all of it. I miss my earlier blogs, I miss writing a new post. and for the last few months, I have been missing blogging.